So why do we try so hard. Is it for success? How do we define success? Money? Fame? Power? "Happiness?" Is having a comfortable life what we strive for? And money does that for us? What about the super rich who never settle down? That's hardly comfortable. Why are we discontent? Is it fear? Are we really afraid we won't have enough to spend? Or is it something else. What about before the rat race? Why did we overachieve in school? I know in high school and even in college, money, fame and power were not on my mind.

It seems like all through life, we're always striving for something. We don't really know what that something is, but it's always something distant. Some end goal we can't yet describe. We can define smaller steps along the way, popularity, valedictorian, high-paying job, promotion, promotion, whatever it is, but these are just steps to something bigger. Once we achieve the next step, there's always something next. So what is that end goal?

The end goal is not money, fame or power. Even if we achieve all that, we would still be discontent. We may not be able to imagine that now because we can't see beyond our next step. Even the rich will have friends even richer and when they reach that point, they will need bigger goals. Does it ever really stop? The end goal, I believe, is to be extraordinary; beyond money, fame and power. If we can accomplish something and manage to convince ourselves that we are truly extraordinary, I would argue that we'd even be able to forgo (to some extent) money and whatever frivolous validations we previously sought.

Being extraordinary. Is that not why we daydream at our desks? Because we fear that we will always be ordinary? Is that not why we still watch superhero movies? Is that not why the billionaire became a mayor? Is that not why we get drunk on money and "success?" To distract ourselves from feeling that after all we've accomplished, we are still not yet extraordinary?

Being extraordinary is bigger than money and what a lot of us would consider success. A lot of people would consider you successful if you major in business and become a banker. But few will consider you extraordinary. Honestly, we probably aren't the absolute best at what we do. In anything we do, there is probably someone out there better than we are. Realistically, we'd be sorely disappointed if we make being the absolute best at something our end goal in life. What we can do is realize our potential by honing a unique set of skills in areas we are passionate about. Hopefully, with the right opportunity, our passion and skills amount to something that can uniquely affect the world to some degree. And maybe then, we would be extraordinary.

What gets you get up in the morning? For many of us, the answer is work or school. Work especially, occupies the majority of our day, but how many of us would be comfortable saying that we live for our work?

Maybe I'm obsessed or maybe I'm just lucky. I've recently realized that when I'm by a computer, even when I'm going out, I spend most of my free time looking at buildings and reading about the development and the real estate market. When I'm walking to the bus in the morning, I might have scraps of paper with numbers jotted down in one hand and my cell in the other. This last weekend was my last work-free weekend for the foreseeable future. I spent it driving around the city looking at property I can't afford, dreaming of ways I can get my hands on one of these some day. I think I might say that I do live for my work.

Most people will say I'm obsessed, impatient and even a little scary. I'm not saying anyone should be like me, but we spend most of our waking lives working, so if you think it'd be depressing to say that you live for your work, maybe you should do something else. Just a thought.

edit: if you have a spouse or kids or whatever, forget everything I said

Coming out of Ivy League schools, I think we all feel a certain sense of entitlement. We are entitled to comfortable jobs, to be able to go out every weekend with our friends, brand new NYC apartments, and overall never having to worry about money. We think that Ivy League graduates should never have to worry about having food to eat or a place to sleep.

In the short time after graduation, I've gained new respect for my parents and the generation before me, not that I ever disrespected them, but they know a lot more than I thought they did. I've never seen my parents go out for their own enjoyment once in my whole life. I've never seen them buy clothes for themselves. They still wear the same stuff they had coming to America. Some of other younger uncles say, there's no point in having money if you don't enjoy life, but they say that now because even they had some help starting out from my parents' generation.

I recently learned one of my non-blood "uncles" who I always thought was very well off, actually came to America homeless. My parents who were a young couple at the time living in a tiny studio deep in Brooklyn, met him through a mutual friend they had in China. So this uncle came to America with nothing more than cab fare to get to the first day of school at a city college. After getting there, he would have no money for food and no place to stay. He lived on the school grounds and used their facilities to wash up. He made friends with the basketball team and they gave him sandwiches they got during practices. This wouldn't last forever, because he needed money for school and he wouldn't be able to hold a job if he was homeless. He got in touch with my parents, who were also struggling at the time, uneducated but working. Their studio only had enough space for a bed and the basics. My uncle was very happy sleeping on the floor of the kitchenette for the next few years as he finished school. He wouldn't be there often as he would go to school during the day, and work two jobs at night. I'm sure he never complained once about missing out on a social life.

Honestly, I don't think any of us would have been able to do that. As hardworking as we all are in these top-notch schools, we struggle for SUCCESS, not survival. We struggle so we can be rich and show off. We'll never have to sacrifice going out with our friends so that we could have a full stomach. We'll never have to sleep on the floor. We make connections for future success, not for sandwiches.

Of course this doesn't apply to us anymore because we don't have to go through these struggles, and i'm sure that's the way our previous generations would want it for us; but if we have goals we need to sacrifice for, we should all learn to stop bitching.